Meh.

Can I just talk about my favorite part of bondage for a moment?  Because it’s this. 

You have three parts of a bondage scene: tying, tied and playing, and then untying.

Tying is wonderful; it starts the power dynamic, it starts the connection, and it starts the energy.  Here is this person who trusts you enough to give their body to you and give you their vulnerability and helplessness.  Only they’re not actually helpless, because they have you.  (So naturally, the most important thing to remember when tying someone up is that it’s not about the rope, it’s about your bottom.  So as often as you can, keep eye contact with them, not so much the rope.)

Then you have the person tied up and you play with them however you want: sensation, impact, whatever.  And that part is also awesome, especially since by now the connection is established, and their power is yours, and that feeling is one of the best feelings in the world.

But guys.

My favorite part is actually the UNTYING.

It’s vastly underrated and even rushed, but no, seriously, it’s a beautiful moment.  This person, who has literally given themselves to you, by this point is usually so in their headspace that this moment brings you back together. The untying is so much better than the tying, because the energy you were creating in the tying process is already there and thriving by this stage.  In tying, you are making this person your bottom, and in untying you are unmaking them.  And that is a wonderful feeling of power to have.  The best moment is when you’re untying and your sub can barely move their body to aid you.  Even better if they slump forward into you as you work on a knot. 

The untying perfectly illustrates just how drunk they are off of you.  It’s as much a part of the scene as whatever play before.  It also perfectly leads into aftercare, which can also be amazing.

I know I post a lot of bound submissives with perfect rope and finished knots, but actually I really wish I could find more things like this gif.  It’s my favorite part of bondage, not the final product, but rather the making and umaking of a person.

(via workneverover)

(via thatlittlekink)

workneverover:

This is the most personally-significant picture on my blog.

It’s not just the photo itself. It’s one of those things: it’s permanently connected to what was going on with me when I first came across it. Every time I look at it or even just think about it (which I do often), I’m taken right back. Many, many feelings. Undeniable feelings.

Anyway.

This was the first thing I posted as WorkNeverOver.
I’d had the photo for a long time at that point. Somehow I found it hard to share— even though I desperately want it to be seen as much as possible. Today the latter is winning. I want it on a billboard. When I posted it here I didn’t include the rather long let-me-count-the-ways commentary I’d written when I first found it, but what the heck, I’ll give you that too. Time capsule. The enthusiasm remains, even after all this time. 

Since I’m in a mood now..

I am tentatively calling myself Dominant until I can figure out which end of the Top-Dom spectrum I fall into.  But let me get one thing straight:  this does not make me any more of a perfect feminist image than a submissive.

Being submissive does not make you any less of a feminist.  

It does not invalidate your desire for equality in the world.  It does not mean that because you give up your power to one or more men (or women.  Or whoever really) that you give up that power to everyone and/or anyone.  It does not automatically discredit your belief in equal rights and treatment.

So s/he orders you to make them a sandwich and service them after, like the butt-end of a kitchen joke?  Cool.  Because guess what?  Feminism isn’t about always “saying no to men” or “being a man hater”, no matter what the common perception is.  It’s about equality—and that means doing what you want, no matter how in or out of gender roles that may be.  It’s about, as someone said, making your own choices.  And if that choice is to be in a power exchange relationship, to be treated like a sex slave or a piece of furniture, or whatever it is you want, then that’s that.  It has nothing and everything to do with being a feminist.  

I get how being female Dominant can seem like it’s this pro-feminist thing, and god, how can a submissive say they’re a feminist when it feels like the opposite?  But you know what?  Sometimes I have the opposite worry.  Sometimes I think to myself, “Man, I like to think I’m a feminist, but how can I, on the same blog, promote equality and then turn right around and post men in bondage kissing women’s feet?”  I feel like I’m hypocritical sometimes, and I know I have lots to learn in the ways of feminism.  …Lots to learn.

But for me, it’s the same thing.  It’s about what I want and about what a potential partner(s) of mine will want consensually   And it doesn’t make me any more or less of a feminist than my submissive friends.

So in the end, enjoy your life, whether in chains or holding the chains or heck without chains.  The way I see it, feminism isn’t a cage, it’s a key, so don’t worry about your image or place.  Make your own choices, free of pressure, (and don’t judge anyone based on their likewise choices).  You’re great the way you are.

whoneedsfeminism:

I need feminism because my government teacher thinks a woman shouldn’t be president because we are too moody.

boku-no-poltergeist:

wow

(via rosezemlya)

fuckyeahfirefly:

Found this at Shirtpunch, figured you might want to pass it on to everyone else who loves Vera!

whoneedsfeminism:

I need feminism because every financial institution I have ever dealt with as a married woman has defaulted to putting my husband’s name first on everything. He’s always the “Borrower,” I’m always the “Co-borrower,” despite the fact that these companies never deal with him. They only ever deal with me, because I handle all of our finances and personal business decisions.

That we’re ordered as a result of gender is endlessly frustrating, because many of these accounts then don’t consider me “authorized” to make alterations to the account. I have to get them on the phone while my husband is present, get him to tell them it’s okay, and then he hands the phone back to me so I can conduct my business. Because he has no fucking idea. He’s not a money or numbers person. He’s not the breadwinner. We have pooled our finances because it’s easier (and smarter) for me to take care of it all, but this inane industry standard that the male name goes first and the female name goes second means I have to jump through that many more hoops to take care of my family. 

blackbdsm:

Barbara Nitke

workneverover:

I tend not to like how female submission is depicted  (especially fsubs of color) but this, to me, is really nice. She looks beautiful. And willing. And a little bit vulnerable… but ultimately safe and cared for. Loved.

Perfect. 

^  This

(via blackbdsm)

(Source: lolhim, via lumihanki)